


He is a gentle soul, not a murderer

by Anxious_Procrastinating



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-25
Updated: 2016-11-16
Packaged: 2018-08-10 21:45:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7862302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anxious_Procrastinating/pseuds/Anxious_Procrastinating
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hanzo and Genji's relationship throughout the years, from their childhood to their reconciliation</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Hi everyone! :) This is my first Overwatch fic and I'm really excited! I hope the characters aren't OC or that nobody has ever written this before (I still haven't read many Overwatch fics) and, most of all, that you enjoy this!:)

_Hanamura, 27 years ago._

It was all quiet in the halls of the huge Shimada castle, the only exception a single room in the upper floors, from which came the excited voice of a child.

"Really?!" enthusiastically asked an 8 year-old Genji Shimada, second-born child of the headchief of the Shimada clan, Masaomi Shimada.

His father smiled at him fondly and nodded. Genji got always very excited when he told him about ancient Japanese legends.

"Hanzo, isn't that great?" he excitedly asked, tugging at his brother's sleeve. "There are two great dragons flying in the sky! And they are brothers like us!"

A young Hanzo smiled softly at his little brother's antics.

Hanzo was three years older than Genji and very mature to be an 11 year-old.

He was to inherit the command of the Shimada clan once their father passed away and trained and studied every day to be worthy of that role. His dream was to build a great empire with his brother.

"I am the Dragon of the North Wind and you are the Dragon of the South Wind!" declared Genji with a toothy grin.

"Wait until you hear the rest of the story" he chided with a smile, ruffling his little brother's hair. Hanzo had heard it a thousand times already, but for him this was the first time.

The youngest Shimada pouted and tried to fix his hair again, but he did as he was told and sat back again, intently listening to his father's words. He would always obey his big brother Hanzo.

Genji was incredibly sad to hear that the two dragons had fought each other and that the Southern one had killed the Northern one. Suddenly he became adamant on the fact that no, he and Hanzo definitely weren't like them, but he kept that to himself.

At least the dragons made peace in the end and rebuilt their relationship as humans, but that didn't make it change his mind.

It was time to go to bed, but he really couldn't get to fall asleep. He was still thinking about that legend and just how actually tied to it he, Hanzo and the whole Shimada clan were. The Shimadas were directly linked to the dragons, in their blood ran the power to control them. It scared him, because he didn't want himself and his brother to share the same fate.

Genji got out of his bed and walked in the quiet corridors of the castle until he reached the spot where he could perfectly admire the painting with the two heavenly dragons above the main hall of the building. He watched wistfully the intricate pattern the two beasts drew in the sky as thoughts of what his destiny could be ran through his head and fear gripped at his heart.

"What are you doing up here at this time of the night?"

Genji turned around, alarmed, only to find his big brother standing behind him. "Don't tell anyone I'm up" he pleaded, knowing that if his father found out, he would be in for a scolding.

"I won't" promised Hanzo with a small smile.

Genji let out a sigh of relief and thanked his brother.

"So? What are you doing here?"

"I couldn't sleep" he mumbled, a bit reluctant to tell what was bothering him.

"Did the story our father told us upset you?" asked Hanzo and Genji looked up at him in shock.

"How do you know?!"

Hanzo chuckled. His little brother was very easy to read sometimes. "It was hard not to see what you were staring at" he replied, pointing at the huge painting.

Genji glanced at it and his expression turned sad again.

His big brother offered him his hand and he took it, letting him lead him out in the gardens of the mansion, near the little pond. Hanzo always came here when he needed some time alone to think.

He usually forbid Genji to follow him there, knowing that with his exuberance he would immediately get bored and disturb his meditation, that night though, he wanted to share an intimate moment with his brother, because he knew that he needed it. And honestly, Hanzo himself did as well.

He sat on the bench and gestured for his little brother to sit next to him. Genji did as he was ordered, stunned that his brother would bring him there, knowing what that place represented for him.

They remained like that for a while, not saying a single word, staring at the beautiful full moon above them. Strangely enough, the silence was broken by Hanzo, who asked: "What's the matter then?"

Genji turned to look down at his hands, his expression clearly showing his inner turmoil. "Do you ever think about the future?"

"Yes, sometimes I do" he replied.

"Are you never scared?"

"I am" admitted Hanzo.

Genji was surprised to hear that. He'd always thought that his brother was a fearless warrior, confident and brave, never doubtful of himself or his choices. That was what transpired on the outside at least.

Apparently his brother had his weaknesses just like any normal human being. Just like him. Not that his respect and admiration for him diminished in the least bit. On the contrary, he felt closer to him. Now he knew that he would be understood if he shared his thoughts with him.

"I've thought about us and the dragons" he said. "I don't want us to become like them, I don't want to fight you"

Hanzo smiled softly. Just as he thought his little brother had been upset about that detail. He'd observed him as his father recounted the events of the legend, he'd noted all of his reactions. He could understand why Genji was concerned, but in all honesty he didn't share that fear. If there was one thing he was sure of, was that his beautiful relationship with his brother would never change. The certainty that his brother would always be by his side was what made all the fears about the future vanish. "We won't. We are not like them and we will never be"

"How can you be so sure about it?" asked his little brother, still skeptical.

"I know you. And I know myself. Those dragons fought over who could better rule their land, they were blinded by greed. We are not like that, I mean to share with you what one day will be mine and I am sure that you are willing to do the same with me"

Genji nodded at that. He had never been possessive over his things, even when he was younger. Besides, he would never deny anything to his brother.

"We can be smarter than those two dragons, we can learn from their mistakes and never let anything separate us" Hanzo continued with a smile.

Genji grinned, showing his agreement to everything his older brother had said.

"And never forget that I love you, brother" whispered Hanzo, a faint blush tainting his cheeks, but, fortunately for him, invisible in the pale moonlight.

Genji's grin broadened and he started dangling his legs in joy. Hanzo rarely expressed his feelings, so, when he did, it was extremely special for him. "I love you too" he replied softly, all his fears gone.

Right then though, a thought crossed Hanzo's mind and his expression darkened. He crouched in front of the bench where his brother was still sitting and looked sternly into those big brown eyes, lighter than his own. "I want you to promise me a thing though, Genji" he said firmly.

Genji held his gaze, as worry washed over him again. "What is it, brother?"

"If I ever hurt you or if you ever think I am doing something wrong, then I do want you to fight me. Promise me you will"

Genji still totally had no intention to lay a finger on his brother, but if that made him feel safer, then he would promise. "Don't worry brother, if need be, I will knock some sense into that dense head of yours!" he replied with a wink.

"You fool" Hanzo muttered, but he was chuckling.

He sat back down next to his brother and they stared at the moon some more time, enjoying the silence around them, until Hanzo felt a weight against his shoulder. Genji had fallen asleep.

He picked his little brother up in his arms, careful not to wake him up, and stealthily brought him back to his room. Once he'd laid him down on his futon, Hanzo draped a blanket over his body and remained crouched for a bit next to his brother, observing him seriously. He brushed a few wayward strands off his face.

"Goodnight" he whispered.

He stood up and left, closing the door behind him, then he walked to his room, it was time for him to sleep too.

As he stared at the ceiling he thought again about what he'd made Genji promise. He had meant it with all his heart. He really hoped that he would never feel the need to resort to that though, as his only wish was to protect him, not cause him harm.

If something happened to his little brother, he would never be the same.

If he ever was the cause of his brother's pain, he would never be able to forgive himself.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi everyone! I'm sorry it took me a while to sort this out, hopefully you won't have to wait this long for chapter 3! There the real angst will start :P
> 
> In the meantime, I hope you like this! Bye! :D

Weeks and months passed and the two Shimada brothers grew up fast.

After his tenth birthday, Genji, like his brother three years earlier, was allowed to complete a mission with the older members of the clan.

It was a thing his father had decided to do with both of his kids, so that they could see what it meant to be a member of the Shimada clan and what their tasks and duties would be when they came of age. Before they eighteenth birthday though, they would be out there just to learn and witness how things worked and had to be protected by the elderly members. They weren't supposed to be involved in the action, just watch from afar.

For Hanzo every mission was a precious goldmine of tips he filed away in his mind. Combat, strategies, mannerism and speech. All stuff he would need when he was older.

Genji was simply really excited to go on his first mission, there would be his big brother with him!

He wasn't as interested as Hanzo was in the family business, but he was kind of curious to see with his own two eyes what happened out there and not just hear it from other people.

The task shouldn't have been too complicated, since it was Genji's first time, they just had to give a friendly reminder to a small gang which still owed them money for some drugs they had bought weeks earlier.

Genji knew it wasn't supposed to be too dangerous, but he hid behind his big brother all the same. Not that Hanzo minded. It was the two of them and other five of their father's men.

Genji knew what the family business was about, but seeing it with his own eyes was an entirely different thing.

The death threats, the fear he saw on those people's faces, the feeling he got when weapons were drawn out...

They had never told him about that.

He hated it.

What he had hated the most though, was having a blade pressed against his neck, threatening to slit his throat.

It turned out that the gang, tired of the Shimada clan's abuses, had asked for help to another clan, also member of the Yakuza and enemy of the Shimadas.

Genji saw bullets flying, blades cutting through air and flesh and people falling on the ground, bleeding and dying. He was shaking in fear.

"Hanzo…" he whispered in a tiny voice, clutching at his brother's hand. This was too much for him.

Hanzo had tensed up as well. They hadn't expected this rebellion and, being caught by surprise, two of the men that were with them had been killed and another one injured. He knew that the only forces of the two remaining men wasn't enough for them to survive this ambush. He had to fight too.

"Don't worry, Genji. I'm here. Nothing's going to happen to you" he said, squeezing his little brother's hand. "Stand behind my back, ok?"

"Y-Yes" he stuttered out.

Hanzo unsheathed his sword and joined the fray.

People in his clan said he was a natural, that he was deadlier than most of the older and more exprerienced agents.

He didn't think it was talent. He thought that Genji truly was naturally skilled in combat. His strength and ability just came from the fact that he trained every day, because it was his duty. If he was to inherit the command of the clan one day, training and studying strategies and the history of his own clan and the others' was one of his responsibilities.

Besides, he had to protect his little brother, even with his life if need be. He had to be strong to be able to be there for him whenever he needed him. Like in this moment.

Right then Genji remembered he had a sword of his own. He couldn't use it that well yet, since he often neglected his training, but he'd been provided with that all the same, so he reached for the hilt with trembling hands and unsheathed it as well, pointing it forward, hoping to be ready to use it if it was necessary.

Genji was very different from Hanzo.

His older brother was intelligent, responsible, diligent and brave, whereas he considered himself none of all that.

Hanzo loved Genji dearly. He loved that carefree attitude, that naïvety and enthusiasm. The playfulness and joy that he always saw in his eyes and that had never been part of him.

Sometimes he wished he could look at the world outside through those eyes.

Genji instead looked up to his big brother, he wished he weren't the way he was. That he could muster that sense of honor and devotion to the clan. That he possessed the knowledge he saw in his eyes. That all that could make him brave enough to face any challenge, just like Hanzo.

But he wasn't like that. He was just a scared child thrown into the adult world without being ready. In that moment he was so frightened he could barely stand on his feet.

He was sure his brother hadn't felt like that instead.

He watched as Hanzo fought with the enemies, disarming them one by one. As he was distracted though, one of them yanked his sword from his hands, hurting him and making him fall in the process.

He let out a loud shrill as he found himself pressed against the man's body, his wrists firmly and painfully secured in one of his big hands and his own blade dangerously pressing against his throat.

His breathing became erratic and it seemed like his heart was ready to burst out of his ribcage. He didn't even swallow, feeling the cold metal of his sword too close for comfort. He was as still as a statue, the only thought in his mind that he was about to die.

Now he perfectly knew how those people his family threatened felt.

Upon hearing his brother scream, Hanzo immediately turned around and froze at the sight in front of his eyes.

His head was spinning and he could feel acid rising up his throat.

He looked at his little brother and he stared back at him with wide, frightened eyes.

He had to save him, no matter what.

He ventured a step forward, but immediately stopped in his tracks as he heard Genji's whimper and saw the droplets of blood spilling from his brother's neck.

"STAND BACK OR I'LL KILL HIM!" had shouted the man who was holding his brother captive, but Hanzo's focus wasn't on him.

His pulse sped up at the sight of the crimson liquid and the tears welling up in his brother's eyes. It was the only thing he could concentrate on. He was raking his brain, thinking about a strategy, trying to remember some schemes he'd studied, but the overwhelming fear that he might lose his brother was hindering him.

His reason didn't work, but his body was screaming to do something and, for once, he followed his instinct.

He tightened the hold on the hilt of his sword and jumped in the air at the speed of light, ready to attack, feelings raging inside of him.

"RYUU GA WAGA TEKI WO KURAU!"

As he slashed through the air, a blue, ethereal dragon rose from the tattoo on his arm and flew towards the man who was holding Genji as a hostage.

As he saw the beast approaching, the boy closed his eyes in fear that he would get hurt as well. On the contrary, he didn't feel any pain, just the man's grip untightening, the feeling of someone behind him disappearing and the clattering of his fallen sword that reverberated in the room.

He shivered.

He reopened his eyes and watched in astonishment the dragon reaping destruction in the room, killing all those that Hanzo considered his enemies. Then it simply dissolved into thin air.

It was the first time that Hanzo used that attack.

The only ones who were still standing, dizzy but safe, were the two Shimada brothers. The gang they had come to threaten, the people they had hired and all of their allies lay dead on the ground.

Genji finally remembered he had regained his freedom and ran towards his brother with an excited grin: "You were amazing, bro-"

"Let's go home" he cut him off sharply.

Hanzo's expression was grim. That blood on his brother's neck, the tear-streaked face and the black marks on his wrists were tugging at his heartstrings. He should have never allowed that.

He took Genji's hand in his and led him out of the warehouse. He didn't care about the men that had died, those were replaceable, he had no feelings for them. But if his brother had died...he tightened his grip on his hand. Genji frowned, but followed him silently.

At home their father fussed over them, especially Genji, upon seeing the superficial cut on his neck.

His behavior was different with his two children, even if he loved them both equally: he had spoiled Genji since he was born, whereas with Hanzo he was colder and stricter.

That night though, he couldn't keep his pride hidden when he made Hanzo recount everything and his heart swelled in his chest as he found out that his son had used the power of the dragons.

Hanzo felt no happiness though, he was just mad at himself.

Afterwards, their father called a doctor that checked on both of them. They were fine, even Genji's wounds would heal in a few days.

As soon as he heard that, Hanzo stormed off to somewhere, worrying his little brother.

Genji had already been confused by his reaction in that warehouse and that sulking and angry tone had made him really worried.

When his father dismissed him, he decided to look for his brother. As expected, he found him sitting on the bench near the pond, still scowling.

"Hanzo…" he called tentatively.

Hanzo was snapped out of his self-deprecating thoughts and turned towards the source of the voice.

"Hey" he said, mustering a small smile. Then he tapped the spot next to him, so that his little brother would sit there. "How are you?"

"I'm fine" Genji answered grinning. Sure, he was still a bit shaken by the events that had occurred that day, but he was forcing himself not to think about that, so he was ok for the time being. "How are _you_?"

Hanzo didn't reply. His expression darkened again as he eyed the bandages wrapped around Genji's neck. He raised a hand and tentatively reached for it, gently running his thumb right over where the cut that marred his brother's skin was.

Hanzo could still see the blood dripping from it and the tears running down his little brother's face.

Genji shivered, reliving for a moment his experience as a hostage. Hanzo noticed and growled, his anger fueled by his brother's reaction. He should have done more to protect him, so that he wouldn't get harmed.

Genji lowered his gaze, then shook his head to send those images flashing in his mind away. "I'm fine!" he repeated obstinately. He wanted to convince both himself and his brother.

Hanzo's frown didn't budge though. "I'm sorry"

"Eh? What for?!" Genji asked, bemused.

"You were hurt" he explained, averting his gaze from his brother, unable to look at him in the eye. He was too ashamed.

"It wasn't your fault" said Genji, tilting his head a bit and shifting closer, so that he would enter his brother's field of vision.

"I wasn't strong enough to protect you. It _is_ my fault" he retorted bitterly.

"But you saved me!" countered Genji. Then, a bit annoyed, he added: "And I can fend for myself, you know?"

Only then he realized how stupid it sounded with a bandage wrapped around his neck, black bruises on his wrists and being alive only thanks to his brother. He thought Hanzo was about to correct him, pointing out everything he'd thought of after speaking, but an unexpected answer came from him: "I know you can"

He looked back to his brother and smiled, this time not forced or faked, but sincere like those words spoken in a soft tone. He truly did believe that his little brother had the necessary strength and capabilities to defend himself and do even more.

Genji stared at him mouth agape for a full minute, but then he grinned, extremely happy to know that his big brother thought that of him.

 _"I will be the one to save you one day"_ he promised in his mind.

He then flung himself at Hanzo, hugging him. "Thank you" he whispered.

The older boy stiffened at the sudden contact, but then he slowly wrapped his arms around his brother's torso. "Why?" he asked.

"For being there to make me feel better whenever I need it"

He smiled. He could have thanked him for the very same thing. He kept silent though and held his little brother tighter.

Negative thoughts didn't plague the brothers' minds when they had each other to rely on.

They were finally at peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a thing I'd like to point out: did you notice that Hanzo only has one dragon? I haven't forgotten that he has two, it's just because of a headcanon theinsanefruitloop-chan posted on tumblr. I really liked it and she gave me permission to use it, so when we get to the point where Hanzo has two dragons, I'll explain the whole reason why :D


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!:D I'm sorry it took me so long to get this out but I had to deal with some writer's block, the beginning of the school and a short travel to take care of some stuff...I hope you can forgive me and will enjoy this!

With time the nature of the brothers' relationship changed.

As they both kept growing up, Hanzo and Genji showed just how different from each other they really were.

Even in his teenage years Hanzo kept being the epitome of the perfect son, studying and perfecting his skills to be able to run the clan in the best way possible one day.

Genji kept straying from all that. The older he got, the more missions he was required to take part in. The more missions took part in, the more some sort of refusal for all of that built up inside of him.

During the period in which his father was still alive, Genji was relieved from most of what should be his duties and the expectations that were placed upon him had considerably lowered since the day he was born given how he'd turned out to be. Many people both inside and outside the clan considered him a spoiled child and disapproved of his immature behavior.

Then there was Hanzo. Genji didn't care about the comparisons that were made between him and his older brother. Rather than that, he was somewhat more tranquil, knowing that it was Hanzo that one day would have to take the lead and not him. That led him to let himself be even less concerned about the issues of the clan.

Unlike him, Hanzo focused solely on that and sometimes he felt really under pressure. He felt that he had to meet the expectations that were thrust upon him and really struggled to do that, but at the same time he really felt that he wasn't truly enjoying his life, that he was wasting his youth. He was missing out on a lot of stuff, including time with his brother.

In fact, the more time passed, the more the gap between them increased and he felt like he was living with a man he didn't know anymore.

It broke his heart. And Genji's too. Hanzo wasn't the only one who felt the distance that was inexorably growing between them.

The two brothers seemed to deal with it in different ways, Hanzo focusing even more on the clan's business and Genji spending time at the arcade or fooling around with new sexual partners every night.

But, in truth, they were both only trying to distract themselves from the reality that was consuming them. Even if their relationship wasn't the same anymore, their love for each other had never diminished and it made the guilt they both felt for the current situation all the more unbearable. They even avoided each other, worsening it all, because every time they were in the other's presence, thoughts and memories flooded their minds and the tension was thick in the air.

The pressure became almost overwhelming for Hanzo when his father passed away and, at the age of 26, he became the new leader of the Shimada clan.

A 60 year-old Masaomi Shimada had unexpectedly died in his sleep. A peaceful death they said.

His body had been found in the early morning by the servants. He had some blood trickling down his nose. The doctor who had done the autopsy said the cause of his decease had been an ictus.

The two brothers took the bad news in a different way, as expected.

As soon as he was informed of his death, Genji had at least wanted to see the body. He broke down in tears at the sight of his dead father.

Hanzo could keep his emotions at bay much better than his brother. He just stared from the doorway as Genji tried in vain to regain his composure.

It wasn't his father's death that shook something inside of him though, it was his brother's tears.

Genji had always affected him in a particular way, since the day he was born.

_He was only 3 when all that happened, but some things, he remembered clearly. He remembered the screams that tore from his mother's throat, the doctors saying that there had been complications, the panic that set in at the unnatural silence that followed, broken by small, belated cries of an infant. The sight of his father's tears._

_The sweet smell of the flourishing cherry blossoms that filled the halls was in stark contrast with all of that._

_He had been waiting for hours, sitting against a wall outside the door of the room where his brother was supposed to be born. He was holding a small toy, a sparrow carved in wood. It was his favorite thing to play with, but he had decided to give it to his little brother as a welcome gift. He wasn't sad to give it up, he felt he was giving it to someone important enough to him to deserve it._

_Curiosity had been devouring him since the day his parents had explained him that his mother was carrying a baby in her belly. He wondered how it was even possible. Had she eaten it? His mom didn't usually eat babies. Was he in danger?_

_Even more surprising was the fact that he'd been there too for nine months and he remembered none of that. Unbelievable._

_Once he overcame the confusion, making up the weirdest excuses just like every child would, Hanzo had taken to talk to that baby in his mother's belly, slowly developing affection for it. It was an incoherent babble to an adult, but it was meaningful to him and he was sure that the baby heard him and understood him._

_He told him about the things he did during the day, about the things they would do together once he got out of there, that he was happy that soon he would have a little brother. Sometimes he showed him stuff, not knowing that he wouldn't see anything, but his mother hadn't wanted to ruin his fun, especially when she felt the baby casually shifting right when Hanzo was talking and saw the delight on his face upon noticing it._

_That's how Hanzo had chosen the sparrow, it was the thing that had first elicited a visible reaction from Genji._

_A little smile played on Hanzo's lips as he traced with his fingers the details of the little sparrow, but the discomfort hidden underneath was evident. He might not be able to understand what was going on, but the atmosphere was definitely rubbing off on him and unease had started to set in._

_Other hours passed, during which nannies and servants had tried to feed him or bring him to bed when it became late at night, but he stubbornly refused to obey, wanting to be there when his brother was born._

_Then a doctor came out, hands and sleeves still bloody, giving him a sympathetic look for reasons he didn't comprehend._

_He hardly understood anything when his father came out too to pick him up and took him close to his mother. He didn't know why she looked so pale, why she was so sweaty, why she looked like she was going to slip away at any given moment._

_He sat on the bed, right next to her, as one of her hands brushed his cheek. He gave her a quizzical look, not understanding why his father was crying but at the same time she was smiling. It was confusing._

_"Hanzo…" she said weakly and pulled him into an embrace. Her arms weren't as strong as usual against him. It felt almost foreign, as if another person was hugging him. But that was unmistakably his mother. That was her scent, that was her voice, that was her softness. Things he wouldn't forget that easily._

_She pulled away from him and looked at him sternly in the eye. "You need to know something important"_

_The decision hadn't been easy, but both she and her husband agreed on the fact that Hanzo needed to know the truth. For his own sake._

_Her son looked at her expectantly, ready to listen, so she braced herself and mustered all the strength she had left not to start crying. "Mom is going to fall asleep for a long time, ok?"_

_The little Hanzo slowly nodded. Obedient as ever with his parents, he didn't dare to protest to what his mother had said._

_"Nobuko…" chided softly his father and she turned towards him. "We shouldn't sugarcoat this"_

_Even in moments like this he deemed his son's education of the utmost importance. That meant telling him the truth about such things as life and death, even if it was harsh and painful. Hanzo had to be strong from the start if he wanted to make a good leader one day._

_She seemed to weigh down his words and sighed, thinking that her husband was right._

_She looked so tired._

_"This sleep is...eternal" she tried to explain. It wasn't easy to talk about such a thing with a 3 year-old._

_"What does eternal mean?" he asked, raising a questioning eyebrow, sensing that it was something bad._

_"It means I won't wake up anymore" she said and Hanzo heard her voice break and saw tears spilling from her eyes. Now both her and his dad were crying, he noted._

_The sight of his mother's tears moved something inside of him, but he didn't cry. He still didn't fully comprehend the meaning of what he was being told. It looked bad though._

_His mother opened her arms and he nestled again into her warm embrace, wrapping his tiny arms around her neck._

_"I'm sorry Hanzo, I really wanted to be a good mother to you. See you grow up" she said through sobs. Hanzo didn't know what to say, he just tightened his embrace, fear starting to creep in._

_"Your little brother...Genji…"_

_Genji. He repeated the name in his mind, with the same wistfulness and softness he had heard in his mother's tone as she uttered it. He liked it._

_"Promise me...please, promise me...that you will protect him"_

_She knew it was a big thing to ask. But her husband wouldn't be there forever in their children's lives and she still didn't know if Genji would survive and how his life would be. If he would grow up strong and healthy, if he would be ill and unable to fend for himself or if she would carry him with her in her grave._

_Maybe it was wrong to ask this from a child. If Genji really died, Hanzo might feel bad for not being able to save him. But what can a child do against death?_

_Nonetheless, she needed to know that if her baby survived, he would be in good hands. To be able to truly rest in peace._

_"I will" he promised. She had said it with such a solemnity that the words remained engraved in his heart for all his life. Sadly, one cannot always listen to what their heart desires._

_"My good boy…" she praised. "Thank you"_

_Now she finally felt she could let go. She let the exhaustion take over her and after a bit Hanzo felt her go limp and let go of him. When the realization dawned upon him, he pulled away._

_"She fell asleep" he meekly told his dad, worried at first, but then, when he took a good look at her, calm._

_He didn't cry._

_His mind still had a hard time wrapping around the concept of 'eternal', but she indeed looked like she had simply fallen asleep. His dad told him that people died and that it was normal. And to Hanzo it seemed natural, all too natural. Maybe it was the peacefulness etched in his mother's features that made it so easy to accept, so easy to think that. But he was almost glad even, because it didn't look like his mom was in pain anymore._

_He would definitely miss her, but he didn't want to cry. He wanted to be happy for her._

_As he regained his composure, his father took his tiny hand and led him to the adjoining room. There, in a glass box - an incubator, his father had explained - and attached to lots of tubes that led to some weird machines that kept him alive, lay a baby. His little brother._

_The complications he'd heard about had affected him too and now he was fighting to survive._

_Hanzo walked closer to the incubator, curiously trying to get a better look and lay a hand on the glass. Usually children are disappointed in newborn babies, because they only sleep, eat and cry. They don't play as they are expected to or react much to anything. But Hanzo was struck by the tiny figure. Genji looked so weak, but at the same time he was so strong that he could fight something like death. An entity so powerful that it could take a person forever away from you. But he was fighting it and winning._

_Hanzo felt proud. He would protect that little baby, just like he'd promised to his mother. Though, to be honest, in that moment he thought that his little brother needed anything but protection._

_He asked for permission to open one of the small windows of the incubator and placed the little, wooden sparrow next to his little brother. He brushed against it with his little fist, but did nothing else. Hanzo smiled nonetheless._

_Nobody had given him the certainty that Genji would survive, his father had explained to him that his life was in danger as well, but he was sure that that little baby was going to defeat that._

_'What can a child do against death?' his mother had thought._

_Genji had the answer._

_He fought hard and bravely and every day he grew bigger and stronger, his brother always by his side until he was fully out of danger and ready to be raised like a true Shimada._

When he saw Genji in that state, Hanzo immediately felt he had to do something to soothe him, so he rushed into the room and hugged him tightly.

At that point Genji abandoned all his intentions to stop crying and let himself go in his brother's embrace.

It felt good to have the other so close after so much time.

A sole tear slipped from Hanzo's eyes, but, once again, it was because of Genji.

He wasn't surprised at all to see that he was more hurt by his brother's pain than his father's death.

Hanzo wasn't as close to their parent as his brother was and the treatment he'd received was very different from Genji's.

Sometimes he berated himself for feeling envious of the displays of affection Genji was daily showered with when he'd hardly received any during his childhood, his father always being a strict, distant and unreachable figure, all for the sake of toughening him up and make him a good leader.

His whole life had been shaped for him to be a perfect war machine, a ruthless, emotionless assassin. To make him ready to meet his fate.

His brother was the only one who could elicit feelings from him and make him a flawed human being.

Sometimes he was grateful for Genji's existence, because he helped him not to feel like a heartless monster. On the other hand he knew that that was his biggest weakness.

Masaomi Shimada's funerals were held two days later. This time both Hanzo and Genji, united as ever, managed to hold a stoic façade in public, not to bring shame upon their clan. Once they were back in the safe walls of their castle though, their paths got separated again, as their relationship slowly went back to be what it had become before their father's death.

Genji took his time to metabolize and get over his grief, distracting himself with the usual 'vain, futile and shameful activities', as the elders defined them, while Hanzo finally took the reins of the Shimada Empire in his hands.

It was the beginning of the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was supposed to cover a bigger portion of the story, but since I didn't want to make you wait any longer I decided to cut it here. Next chapter will feature more Genji and more reasons that will lead to Genji's "murder". Hopefully I'll be able get it out soon!:D
> 
> Oh and I was almost forgetting to give you the news! This fic will be part of a bigger project!:D After I finish it I will write an R76 story that will be complementary to this (there will be McCree too) and then another one that will work as a sequel for both this and the other one :D


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!:D Sorry it took me a while to update, but I've been pretty busy with school and I had some writer's block, I hope you can forgive me and that you'll like this!

Genji perfectly knew that leading the Shimada clan was Hanzo's biggest dream and, as much as his father passing away had hurt him, in the midst of all that sorrow he could find happiness and pride.

It was short-lived though, as Hanzo's new role managed to make that little closeness they had regained, thanks to their father's death, dissipate in no time.

Their relationship wasn't the same as it was anymore, there were no longer dialogues in their private little spot, comforting hugs, reassuring smiles, no more brotherly complicity. They barely spoke to or even knew each other at this point and Genji hated this. It was as if there was utter uninterest for each other's life, no more love. But it wasn't like this, not on Genji's end at least.

Seeing his brother's behavior in that moment of grief, he had foolishly hoped that they might get back to what they once were, or at least restore a bit of that complicity they had when they were kids. But, of course, he had been stupid to think that.

Sometimes he really wondered if Hanzo still loved him, completely unaware of what he represented to him.

The crisis between them started during their early teen years. It apparently happened without a reason, and there was actually no fight between them. It was just that Hanzo took his training, his studies and the missions he went on more and more seriously, whereas Genji slowly grew more and more disgusted by his family business. This difference of interests created a gap that slowly led them to be strangers to each other. It just happened.

But Genji wasn't the type to passively accept it, much less when it came to something that concerned him and his brother. So he'd tried to talk to Hanzo about his concerns regarding the clan, his brother had told him he wanted to know if he thought he was doing something wrong, but the answer he'd received had left him with a strong mixture of emotions that he, even many years later, still had a hard time sorting out.

_He was around 13 when he was sitting in what was his brother's and now also his little quiet spot to meditate._

_Genji was very energetic and happy-go-lucky on the exterior and because of that many people thought he was shallow and uncaring. Only Hanzo knew that there was more to Genji than meets the eye, but the more time passed, the more he seemed to forget it._

_Hanzo arrived a little bit after him and immediately noticed that something was on his brother's mind. During those early years of their adolescence he could still read his little brother fairly well, capability that would wane throughout the years, until Genji became nothing more than an unresolvable puzzle that he unconsciously gave up on trying to figure out._

_"What is wrong, Genji?"_

_Genji's head snapped in his direction. So immersed in his thoughts and anxiety for the discourse he was about to face he hadn't noticed that his brother had already arrived._

_"I need to talk to you" he said, determined._

_He was scared to make Hanzo mad, of the answers he might receive. He didn't want to lose his brother, neither because he was angry at him, nor because his brother might judge his way of thinking as flawed or as that of a weakling and start to despise him._

_Even though he was scared that maybe Hanzo wasn't the person he'd always thought him to be, he felt that this was a thing they needed to talk about._

_Wordlessly, Hanzo sat down next to his brother, showing that he was ready to listen. A mild nervousness was gripping at him._

_"I just am...starting to doubt everything" Genji said, bashfully looking at his brother._

_"What do you mean by everything?"_

_"Everything. Our lives, their meaning, the meaning of what we do, of what our family does. Do you think it's right? Do you really believe that what we've always been taught us isn't wrong and immoral?" Genji's brows furrowed in mild anger as he explained._

_Hanzo leant back on the bench and stared into the koi pond before him, deep in thought. "I believe that what they taught us is what is best for the clan"_

_"But what do_ you _think? Ok, this is what's best for the clan. But what about who's outside of it? Don't you ever think that maybe killing people, selling drugs and weapons and such is wrong?"_

_"There is no universal right and universal wrong in this world, Genji" replied Hanzo, severe. Almost annoyed that his brother wasn't considering this. "Everyone does what's best for themselves"_

_Genji didn't know what to say. Hanzo was right and he didn't like it one bit. "This is awful" he commented in the end with a defeated sigh, slumping against his seat._

_"Do you have any problems with the clan's lifestyle?" asked Hanzo, now calm. Maybe even actually concerned. Genji though was scared of what his brother was thinking of him._

_He hesitated before answering, but then he settled for the truth. It was too late to hide what he thought. "I am only doubting the values upon which it's built. I just got upset because of a few missions". He mumbled the last part, not really feeling like recalling what he'd seen._

_"Do you really value life and death this much?" inquired Hanzo, as if surprised._

_Genji observed his brother and studied him. On his face there was no trace of contempt or rage, just plain confusion, maybe disbelief. "Yes…" he tentatively replied. Then, fearing the answer, he asked: "Don't you?"_

_Hanzo almost felt this was a test. It was in a way, and he was sort of scared. But that was his brother, seeking for his help and advice and now asking for his honesty. He couldn't lie to him._

_"Life and death mean nothing to me" he admitted with an eerie calm, in stark contrast to his brother's earlier animosity. "The life or the actions of a single human being can hardly determine or affect the fate of the whole humanity. And the role of humanity in the whole universe has little to no importance. We act as if we're in control of this world, but nature could erase us all in mere seconds. We're just puny beings that keep living and fighting and entertaining themselves with unnecessary goods or activities for no reason at all"_

_Hanzo searched his brother's eyes, in seek of approval, but Genji avoided meeting his gaze. He felt nauseous. He could barely breathe._

_He abruptly stood up, more than ready to leave, but a hand grabbed his forearm and he stopped in his tracks._

_"Genji…" came the feeble whisper._

_Hanzo feared he'd said something wrong, that he'd hurt his brother, that he'd lost him. He was looking at him with panicked eyes, silently pleading him to turn around and tell him it was ok._

_The terror in Hanzo's tone made Genji flinch with guilt, so he swallowed back the bile that had risen up to his throat and mustered a lopsided smile._

_Hanzo wasn't fooled in the slightest._

_Genji laid a reassuring hand on his brother's shoulder and crouched to be at eye-level with him. It reminded him of when he did the same to comfort and reassure him. "It's alright. I just need to sort my thoughts out"_

_Hanzo nodded. He tried to straighten his face, to put into place that mask of superiority and indifference that he always used whenever he was uncomfortable. It was supposed to be like a shield, the same indifference he showed on the outside had to seep into his soul and mind, convincing him that he didn't care. But having to use it with his brother hurt him all the same._

_Genji could sense that his brother wasn't ok, but he needed to leave. As he walked through the empty corridors of the castle, the weight of Hanzo's words and the disgusted edge his voice had taken sank deeper and deeper. Tears were choking him._

_Before reaching his room he made a turn for the bathroom, where he emptied all the contents of his stomach. He then slumped against the wall next to the toilet, head in his hands, his heart aching at how impassive and almost cruel Hanzo had been while talking about such matters._

_It wasn't just the meaning of the words themselves that had upset him, it was the reasons why Hanzo would think that. He knew his clan could adopt pretty unorthodox measures to convince someone to do or believe what they wanted them to. Sometimes even without the person involved being aware of that._

_Being under his father's protection he'd probably never withstood anything of that, but with Hanzo it was a different story. He was to inherit the clan, he had to be perfect._

_Genji shivered, imagining how his brother's life was and had been. The mere thought was enough to break his heart._

_That day Genji had also understood that if he died, his brother wouldn't care._

_He wanted to make them pay, everyone in the Shimada clan. For hurting and damaging his brother so much that he'd turned off his humanity._

_The point was that Hanzo cared too much about it and if he actually managed to destroy it, he knew it would break his heart._

_He wanted to sabotage it somehow though. He was one of the strongest and most known members of the clan. His actions would definitely have at least a small influence._

If at first his lack of interest or cooperation in the clan's activities, his spending whole days at the arcade and his hanging out with friends and different partners every night (which earned him the title of playboy) were a way to protest and damage the image of the clan, soon enough they turned into a coping mechanism.

Genji didn't want to think. He envied Hanzo because he was capable of not feeling.

He hated being part of a family of monsters, he hated having to do the same things as them, he hated that his brother was so well indoctrinated that he couldn't see the truth, that this had led to a separation, a growing distance between them that made his heart ache whenever the thought of it crossed his mind.

So he didn't think. It was like a break up. He distracted himself so that he didn't have to think. About the past or what he used to have, his lost innocence or the relationship with his brother, it didn't matter.

Those didn't matter anymore. _Nothing_ mattered anymore.

The family was rich enough to provide him with anything he required and his father was more than willing to spoil his youngest child. His friends (if he could call them so) and his sexual partners were always there, ready to comply to his every whim. He didn't know if they did it because they loved him, liked him or, more likely, because they feared him and his family. He didn't care. He didn't want to think.

He knew that he was a coward, that he was weak. And he hated it and he hated himself. But he didn't want to think about that either.

So for years he bottled up everything, ignored it, ignored the elders, ignored his brother, ignored his feelings. Until the protective bubble he had created around himself burst with the death of his father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again this was supposed to cover a bigger portion of the story, but I didn't want to make you guys wait any longer. Next chapter will contain more reasons that lead to Genji's death and maybe the murder itself, I still don't know how I want to structure it. But I really can't wait to be able to write about it :D


End file.
